Sticky Situtations

Submitted by Samantha - Aug 30, 2006

I have a feeling that most of you aren't strangers to the following situations:

• Your best friend is in town on short notice and you want to get together with your "boys" for a game, wings and beer, but you've already made brunch plans with your girlfriend.
• Your boss got you tickets to the playoff game tonight, but you were supposed to go to dinner with your girlfriend, her best friend and her best friend's boyfriend.
• A few of your close friends from out of town (of both genders) are in town for the night and want to catch up over a lot of drinks (and your girlfriend is not invited), but you promised your girlfriend you'd take her to that romantic comedy she's been wanting to see.
• You've planned a boys' weekend out of town, in a potentially scandalous location (Vegas, Cancun, etc.), and your girlfriend is upset that the two of you have never been on a weekend trip together.

Was the end result either a fight with your girlfriend, or an argument with your friends? Clueless about what to do, when similar situations arise in the future?

Yet again, it's Samantha to the rescue!

Friendships are of the utmost importance and they can be particularly difficult to maintain after high school and college, when hundreds, if not thousands of miles, often separate friends. Yes, you have obligations to your girlfriend, but you have obligations to your friends too. In any of the above situations, go out with them (and for your career's sake, go out with your boss). Your girlfriend will be disappointed, but she'll understand (she should understand, anyway) – especially if you heed the advice below.

Immediately plan a very special night for her in the near future. Whatever she'd want, deliver: treat her to dinner at her favorite restaurant, take her to the movie she wants to see, go for drinks at her favorite bar, send her a bouquet of her favorite flowers, write her a heartfelt letter expressing your appreciation for her and her understanding nature…give her whatever she wants, to show your appreciation for her being so cool about your flaking (particularly if it was at the last minute).

If you are out or away with your "boys", over the course of the night/weekend, make sure you call at least once to say a quick "hi". Nothing's hotter than a man who will face the ridicule of his friends, to call just to say he's thinking of his girl. Plus, a phone call (or, if you must, a text) will re-assure her that if you can maintain contact, you can't be up to anything fishy.

If you've assured your girlfriend that you'll be staying at her place once your night is over, make sure you're there when you say you'll be.

Similarly, if you say you'll call when you get home – do it. Even if you don't say you'll call when you get home – do it.

If there are going to be female friends out, but you don't invite your girlfriend to come along, make sure that she knows that she has nothing to be worried about. In fact, when it comes to female friends, try to discuss them in conversation from the beginning of your relationship, to avoid any potential jealousy from a particularly fiery girlfriend.

If possible, try to meet her out at the end of the night. This way your friends and hers can get to know one another and you'll be offering a compromise to your girl. This, however, is not an out – you should still plan the aforementioned night that's all about her.

I wish you harmony in all of your future plans!

Comments & Questions

Hey Samantha, Beasley here.

Great advice but I have a question.

Last week, my girlfriend made plans to go to the opera Friday night (boooooooooooring). Then, the very next day, my buddies made plans to go to AC with a half dozen hookers and about a pound of blow. Naturally, I ditched the ole ball-and-chain for a weekend of fun (here are the pictures). When I got back she was all crying and sobbing... so I broke up with her.

So you're saying... I was wrong?

Beasley...

You're an idiot.

If anyone else would like advice on a sticky situation or just dating in general, send me and email (even some fan mail would be great *wink* *wink*)!

Send an email with your question to Samantha@20MinutesToKill.com.

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