Conquering the Porverbial "Fat Friend"

Submitted by Samantha - Jul 26, 2006

First of all, let me say, the "Fat Friend" that every cute girl supposedly has? She is a mythical figure. If a girl's wingwoman doesn't like you, it's not because she is fat, ugly and jealous of her lovely, lithe friend. It's not because she was recently dumped and is bitter toward all men. It's not because she is an unhappy person and wishes to drag everyone else down into the black abyss that is her existence.

If you're getting a bad vibe from a girl's friend (or friends), it's because you've affronted her (or them) in some way.

The main error most men make, when they go after a girl in a public setting, is that they ignore her friends. While we are absolutely flattered when someone pays strict attention to us, we also think it's rude to completely disregard the fact that we're out with other people. Our friends must be acknowledged and engaged, in order for you to get the "go ahead". Once you've made your introductions and thrown out a few witty observations, feel free to throw the ball to your wingman (or wingmen) and focus on your girl. Still, don't forget to periodically return to group conversation – both for the sake of your wingman (or wingmen) and to avoid the ire of the friends.

But let's say you've already either insulted the friends by not taking the above advice or perhaps you simply got off on the wrong foot. How do you salvage the situation and secure the girl of your dreams' number? By taking the steps below.

Talk to Her

Divide your focus between Dreamgirl and her pissed-off friend (we'll call her "Pippi"). Turn on the Dr. Phil within yourself and ask Pippi about her day, buy both girls a drink, put your arm around Pippi's shoulders (in a friendly way) and engage her in an inside joke of your own. You should see signs of a smile pulling at the corners of her lips, perhaps not immediately, but eventually. Sometimes all a girl's looking for is a little attention. Even the tiniest bit can lift her sprits.

Follow Her Lead

If Pippi thinks the bar sucks and is pulling for Dreamgirl to follow her elsewhere, why don't you suggest another fun bar for your crews to migrate too? Or, if Pippi is adamant about going to one place in particular, ask if they'd mind if you and your friends joined (or even just you). I'm sure that Dreamgirl will be as eager to have you along, as Pippi is to get to the next bar. Plus, once Pippi is in her element, the pressure is off of you to entertain her.

Help Her to Get What She Wants

Is Pippi in a mood because the guy she likes hasn't noticed her yet? Why don't you step in and act as a conduit between Pippi and her dreamboat (let's call him "Pippo"). This is always easier if Pippo is one of your friends, but surely there is some sort of universal man-talk you can employ to entice anyone to meet the lovely Pippi. Remember, "like" is on the line for everyone here, so talk her up!

Essentially, you have to resign yourself to the friend's agenda. It's not enough to charm your dream girl – you have to charm her friends as well, if you want to make progress with her. Good luck!