“Now more than ever,” says Al Queda spokeperson Abu Al-Amin, “will we try and kill even more people.” He continues, “If 100 people are born today, then we will kill 101!”. In a show of solidarity to keep the World’s population under Tuesday’s projection of a whopping 300 million Al-Amin defies the world’s procreators by calling all suicide bombers, war criminals and doctors to kill as many people as possible to fight against the World’s growing population.

“Now more than ever, people are living longer and having more babies. Soon the human race as we know it will cease to exist because there will be too many mouths to feed and too little resources. When will the time come when there is no more oxygen left to breath? When there is no more land to grow vegetables or allow cows to graze? Will evolution build us a different bread of humans who can get all of thier nutrition from tiny pills and don’t need to breath? Sign me up!  

“For prostitutes working the streets of New Orleans, the post-flood era has sparked a boom in business, largely owing to the influx of an estimated 40,000 to 50,000 out-of-town workers away from their families with money to blow, police said. It’s “like the Super Bowl” for sex workers, said Deputy Chief James Scott, commander of the Police Department’s Intelligence Division, from his division’s headquarters in a trailer.

Though police are making more arrests for prostitution than before Hurricane Katrina, Scott said quantifying such results is difficult because undercover officers often can’t develop conclusive evidence to make a clear-cut prostitution case. It often takes a transfer of cash, “getting naked with them” and clear evidence that the prostitute wants to trade a sexual favor for cash and not just because “she thinks you’re hot,” Scott said.”

They forgot to mention that just a small percentage of the undercover stings actually resulted in arrests because most of the cops went through with the doin it with the hooker just because they could and it was sex and probably cause it’s fun.

Read full article here…Enjoy you sick bastards!

If you can get past her name without gagging and actually read her review of “Shortbus”, Lisa Shwarzbaum, will get you to finish gagging and actually throw up all over yourself. If the reader’s comments weren’t a telling sign that EW needed to boot this lady then I don’t know what is.

Here are just a few comments:

from MPHOUSTON

“Lisa, do us all a favor and next time tell your editor that your dog ate your review. I found absolutely nothing useful about your bland and uninspiring analysis, regardless of if you liked the movie or not.” - ZING!

from Jim

“What a shockingly reductive non-review. Did you even bother to watch the movie, Lisa, or did you decide the first five minutes weren’t hot enough and just move on? I would really hope for better from anyone who actually gets paid for their opinions.” - OUCH!

from junior

“btw, the Brooklyn club is based on an actual club, not Mitchell’s invention…Lisa, do your homework…” - YOWZA!

from Esme

“Ditch Lisa S already; she’s so in love with her own vocabulary, she doesn’t have the time to make sense. And anybody who thinks the hilariously pretentious “Mystic River” is a tour de dorce has no business in the movie critic business.” - I think Esme nailed it on the head

So I just saw a comercial for the premiere of The Office on NBC and it was totally not funny at all. I’m not sure what they are trying to prove but isn’t The Office a comedy? And if so, why are they promoting thier premiere show by running promo ads about a stupid love story between Jim and Pam. There’s nothing funny about that!  NBC is taking thier best comedy and turning it into something that people don’t want to watch; some sappy BS.

I watch The Office because it makes me laugh. I don’t want to see anything other than funny. Love and caring and feelings and shit aren’t funny. I hope this isn’t the case when the show airs on the 21st.

NBC, this is what I want to do to you!

FOX News reports today that the Judge and Saddam had a “friendly” conversation during court proceedings today. The exact conversation was about how the Judge did not believe that Saddam was a dictator. After, Saddam thanked the judge. That’s nice. At least they’re getting along.

The Judge, Abdullah al-Amiri, made this remark one day after the prosecution said the judge should step down because of allegations that he is biased towards the defense. I don’t know why they would think that. I mean, the Judge only served in criminal court under Saddam’s Baath Party. That wouldn’t be a red flag at all. Oh and get this, the article later says that the judge actually asked Saddam for his permission to speak in his own court. Uhm….yyyyyeah, good times.

The stars are aligning folks. I asked the question in my original report, ”What does NBC do with all that original content?” when they did the deal with YouTube earlier this year. Well, AdRants has reported that NBC, wait…wait…., is going to syndicate thier shows on the web using thier own video content site called NBBC which stands for The National Broadband Company. NBC is saying this site will “…be a new open marketplace for video content producers and publishers…”

Uh Oh!

Splash News’ gossip blog today blogged about Victoria Beckham’s awful orangey tan with a picture of her face. Ok, great topic and probably funny, but they managed to make it not funny by covering the friggin image! In a effort to brand all of thier images they covered her face with thier water mark making you not able to see what they are blogging about. Awesome!

Here’s the image on Splash…so annoying.

How’s this? Check out Mischa Barton’s sweaty pits…ugh…gross!

This is a big one folks. FoxNews reports that in Atlanta today Lun Lun the giant panda, gave birth to the first giant panda born at the Atlanta Zoo and only the 5th born at a US zoo in the last six years.

The 4th was at the San Diego zoo in 2004 as reported on by the Channel 4 News Team led by co-lead anchors Ron Burgundy and Ms. Veronica Corningstone. After some life-saving heroics by the Channel 4 News Team in the bear pit and some heartfelt words by Wes Mantooth of the Channel 2 News Team, Burgundy and Corningstone were able to get back to business.

In a secret written request left behind by “The Crocodile Hunter”, the late Steve Irwin has let it be known that if he did ever die prematurely as a result of his work that he wanted his remains to feed those creatures that he made his life; the crocodiles.

As Steve would have wanted it, the feeding is open to the public and will commence at the Crocodile Feeding Pool just outside of Sydney at 1pm tomorrow.

Sources say that the moments leading up to Steve’s death were caught on tape. The following is a snapshot of that video where Steve is shown struggling with the fierce beast that eventually took his life. As you can see in this one image, his entire arm is being chowed on by the enormous man-eater.

I get these spam emails for Viagra like 5 times a day and I really never looked at the Ad until now. Its acually pretty damn funny. And what’s the deal with the “Rabbit Hole” thing? I’m out completely out of the loop on this one?