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Dear LORD! Sweet Jesus in heaven above.. delivery us from that thing! Please make the bad man go away..

I live in New York [read: I see freaky shit day in and day out] and this kid takes the cake. The cracked-out-transvestite-prostitute blowing a hot dog on the corner of 14th and 6th ave the other day has NOTHING on this kid.

New York, NY: Industry insiders tell 20MTK that Apple will be releasing thier iPhone 2 months early and will feature iMovie and a new e-mail feature. Apple’s Steve Jobs denies reports and is not returning phone calls although his publicists tells us that “Yes, it is true that we will be adding new features to the iPhone. These features will come as a surprise to most Apple enthusiasts but releasing the iPhone earlier is not a confirmed rumor.”

Check back for more details!

Holy geez! Click here to see more!

After YEARS of successfully banging MySpace whores in and around the greater metro New York Area, it seems that the well has finally dried up. Now I only get friended by dorky musicians and web cam porn sites… oh and the occassional creepy-middle-aged-child-molesting predators trolling for a bite.. *shivers down spine*

Still it was a great run while it lasted. I guess I’ll have to resort to actually talking to girls at bars now and buying them drinks and stuff. Damn it.

In northern Jersey the authorities are warning residents to cut back on thier squirrel eating especially if your pregnant.

No effing joke! People actually eat squirrels.

see for yourself here

GRENOBLE, France (AP) — Mikhail Prokhorov, one of Russia’s wealthiest men who made his billions in nickel and gold, was taken into custody by French police in a crackdown on a suspected prostitution ring at a swank Alpine ski resort, officials said Thursday.

The athletic, 6-foot-7 Prokhorov is often described as Russia’s most eligible bachelor. Even among Russia’s big-spending business elite, he has a reputation for organizing lavish parties.

Most eligible bachelor? Why cause he’s loaded and single? The guy looks like a cross between Eddie Munster, An Ugly Jim Carrey and the dead body of Eddie Munster.

And whats with the naked dudes behind him…he should also be arrested for being somewhere where there’s naked dudes!

New York, NY - Today in New York, residents alerted athorities of a strong stench imminating through the city. CNN reports that some witnesses to da stinky say it was 1,000 times worse than that of a gas station. 

If this is deemed terrorism then call me Osama Bin Laden because I terrorize my girlfriend every night while giving her dutch ovens until about 3 in the morning. NICE! 

What ever happened to “Innocent Until Proven Guilty”? It’s like accusing someone of murder and throwing them in jail until the end of the trial and then celaring them of any wrong doing.

I don’t get it…what more can be wrong with the “System”?!?!

http://www.goupstate.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070104/NEWS/701040337/1018/SPORTS

 I say F Duke! Don’t go back!

Sorry to get all political on you…here, check out some boobs!

The only thing that can save SNL is if it switches to HBO or Showtime. The whole show really needs to be uncensored.