By Mr. Joshua
“CRICKEY! That’s gonna leave a mark…”

Alright, alright… I know this guy was a pretty stand-up-bloke if you know what I mean.. caring dad, respected conservationist, yada yada.. so I’ll be a little less harsh than usual. That said though, I think everyone would agree that he was a complete nut-bag… even for an Australian. I’ve met some crazy Australians (albeit the hard drinking female variety) and this guy leaves them in the dust. 

But the saddest part of this whole story is the fact that he was killed by a fricken stingray. Yeah, I know. They sound scary as hell… they look scary as hell… but the fact is, they are the ocean’s equivalent of an oversized guppy. They eat clams and worms for pete’s sake. And Steve Irwin is now officially the only human being on the planet to ever be killed by one (seriously, look it up).

Why couldn’t he have been eaten by a crocodile, strangled by a python or stampeded to death by charging rhinoceros… anything but a fricken stingray.

Still, I admire that crazy Aussie bastard. As I said before.. he seemed a decent enough fellow.  To commemorate him, I hear by decree today, September, 4th -  “Crazy Australian Nature Guy Day”. Basically, I’m gonna tag about 10 Fosters’ oil cans then head up to the aquarium at the Bronx zoo and beat the shit outta some stingray… here’s to ya mate!