Movie Guy here.  So I saw Superman Returns.  Maybe it’s because Brandon Routh is so innocent and womanish or maybe it’s because of the “Superman is gay” rumors flying before the film’s release or maybe it’s because Superman, in general, is so goddamn morally healthy.  But did anyone else find themselves, at any point during the film, rooting for the bad guy?  Well I did.  I genuinely wanted to see what would happen if Lex Luthor’s plan would have come to fruition, and I believed it was going to work.  That’s probably because I thought Kevin Spacey did a great job filling Gene Hackman’s shoes as Lex Luthor, a little over-the-top insane, but definitely entertaining.  But more importantly, has there ever been a more predictable character than Superman? 

I don’t think there’s a soul in this world who thought for half a second that Superman wasn’t going to come out on top at the end of the movie.  How could you? He’s effing Superman.  The more than obvious depiction of Superman in the movie as a “savior” and an American icon makes it 100% impossible for any remotely controversial script to come out of this series.  And that’s ok - if you’re a pussy and liked the Care Bears as a child. 

I feel obligated to give credit for the visual effects, really phenomenal.  But that doesn’t change the fact that it’s really difficult to have an interesting, suspenseful plot when everyone knows how it will inevitably end.  This is why, I believe, that I found myself wishing Superman wouldn’t save the day.  Kate Bosworth was a miserable Lois Lane, by the way.  Someone tell that girl to eat something, she looks like Skeletor.

One final note on Brandon Routh.  I read a rumor the other day that Brandon Routh is considering posing naked for Playgirl.  Additionally, he allegedly got pissed at his make-up artist for making him look “wimpy” at a press conference.  I don’t even have a joke here, this is serious.  I’m fairly confident he takes it in the pooper.  So, I guess Superman is gay after all (not that there’s anything wrong with that… geesh).  And he also owes me $10.