By Mr. Joshua
“I saw a bright light… I thought we were on..” - Keith Richards after the nuclear holocust (with all the other insects that survived).

A round of congratulations is in order. No, seriously. A great injustice will soon be swept from the history books. The innocent will be vindicated and an abusive government will be held accountable all because one man has the balls to stand up and make things right.

This week, Arkansas governor – Mad Mike “I heart” Huckabee – has granted clemency to Keith “I can’t form a sentence before 3pm ” Richards for a reckless driving violation from 31 YEARS AGO!!

Reckless driving? Yeah… a traffic violation… an OLD traffic violation to an equally OLD crack head. Apparently the arresting officer had it all wrong… Keith wasn’t swerving his car because he was intoxicated as the police report stated. No, no. Turns out he was swerving his car because he was getting a BJ from the passenger, rolling a doobie, making pancakes AND rippin’ a sweet riff on his guitar all while driving with his toes. No alcohol involved. Cop had it all wrong. I mean, come on… I’d have a hard time driving in a straight line, too.

And while I’m on the topic, I just can’t resist. Doesn’t it look like Keith is wearing that headband to hide the staples holding the skin to his skull? I guess that diet of 8 shots of heroin a day is really working out. I hear it’s really good for your spleen. And let’s face it… with a healthy spleen you could live forever.

But I digress…

Back to the matter at hand… wouldn’t you think the state of Arkansas would have more pressing matters to attend to? Say… oh, I don’t know…how about trying to curb the population of inbred retards stumbling out of the state? Maybe teaching the average 35 year old male how to say his ABC’s should make the short list? No?

Gawd.. if only I ran the world..