I think Stephen Hawking must have made these comments about colonizing the moon or Mars before it’s too late, after he saw this Myspace profile for Spam. After all Hawking is a big Myspace guy with no less than 46 profiles of his own.

I’m sure his theory that we are on the brink of the end is partly due to the fact that someone in Austin, Minnesota had NOTHING better to do one night than stay up late and put up this profile for spam. Therefore time must no longer have any value and the end is near.

Just look, Spam guy/gal has taken the time to research the history of Spam, even put together an Elegant Potato Spam Casserole recipe to temp your tummy. MMM

And of course Spam has friends! Sardines, Pigs Feet, and Potted Meat. What’s wrong with you people!!!! You should be taking shirtless pictures of yourselves in your bathroom mirror and hollaring at people bout their biznezz.

So pack your bags and snack because time is dead and people care more about a canned-meat product than hooking up….or at least trying. But I don’t know what’s worse, the guy who put up this profile, or me for writing about it and wasting more time. Ugh. Game over.