By Mr. Joshua
“God I’m thirsty. Pass the vodka.. and watch out for that pot-hole.”

Now normally, you’d probably hear me rant about how dumb Peter Coors is for getting a DUI (considering he owns his own brewery and all), but the irony is just too obvious… even for me. Also, I’m not exactly against the whole idea of cruising with a “road soda”. I mean, seriously… we all do it. Some of us a little more than others (a group to which I admittedly belong) but Peter, Peter, Peter… this isn’t 1975.

Back then “drinking-and-driving” was an Olympic Sport reserved for the upper echelon of coordinated drunkards. ”Having-a-few-on-the-way-to-the-grocery-store” was an openly accepted practice by backwoods rednecks everywhere. Back then… if you were pulled over, reeking of Schlitz and slobbering drunkanese, all you’d have to do was pinkie swear with the cop that you’d drive home carefully and he’d let you off the hook.

Not today my friend. No sir. Today you have to be a little more careful, buddy. Get pulled over today with strong mouthwash on your breath and a SWAT team will pounce on you, drag you from your car (beating you senseless all the while) and toss you in the drunk tank with all the other degenerates devoted to personal hygiene.

Yeah, Pete.. the times they are a changin. But that doesn’t mean you have to bend over and take it from the man. Just remember Mr. Coors:

Drinking and Driving is like everything else in life. The more you do it… the better you get at it.