In July 1999, Shridhar Chillal of Poona, India (ha Poon!) had his record-breaking fingernails measured on the set of ‘Guiness World Records: Primetime’. The combined length of the five nails of his left hand were found to be a staggering 6.15 meters or 20 feet and 2.25 inches. Guiness book is quoted as saying, “Shridhar does not grow the nails on his right hand.” Hmmm, is it because he’s busy wailing on his crotch when he’s alone in his stink hut?

‘Guiness’ continues, “His ambition to grow his nails started from a young age. He says, “As a boy, I had an inclination to do something unique and outstanding. One day, I just happened to read about a Chinese saint who grew his nails and thought I could do that to create a world record.” Don’t normal Indians like, do math or something. Maybe even something in computers? I don’t know. Nails?

Apparantly, Mr. Poona has been growing his claws for friggin 48 years. Oh, and now his hand is permanently disfigured because he’s had to support the weight of his freak nails. Oh and he’s now def in his left ear from some kind of nerve damage. I guess its worth having a lobster claw on the end of your arm and being half def for all that fame. I don’t know how he handles all the papperazzi.